If you want a good relationship, first of all you need to The Relationship define what a good relationship should look like. How do you want to feel in it? What’s your goal? Where is the port you want to visit? Without it, you can sail using a map with shoals marked on it, but with no marked direction.
Obvious? In theory, for sure. Practice shows otherwise. Just as beginning entrepreneurs do not analyze the competition, entering into relationships you do not SharekAlomre.com define your expectations. After all, being with someone is the most banal thing in the world. One where the plan might be “Somehow it will be” and yet it will not only be somehow, but it will be fantastic.
In fact, the fairy tale written in this way does not end with the words: “And they lived happily ever after.” It is crowned with the sentence: “And they had to deal with a dysfunctional relationship that they have been trying to heal for years.” Alternatively: “And they were not aware that their expectations were taken from outer space, so even getting a star from the sky, they asked why only one.”
So let’s start with the basics – what should a cool relationship look like?
1. In a good relationship, you don’t feel alone
This short sentence is perhaps the best definition of a relationship that can be written. Being with someone comes down to not being lonely in them on many levels.
This means that you have a second, warm body with which you can wake up and fall asleep.
It also means that not only is the other person nearby, but also part of our actions and plans. So he is someone who accompanies you, with whom you can cook, throw darts at the map of Europe, choose a place for vacation, chat, cuddle and make tea.
There is also a third level and there are people who are there for us even when others would have abandoned us. However, for some reason they don’t cross us out. Instead, they put their arms around them, squeeze so hard that we can put ourselves together, and say, “We can handle it together.”
A good relationship is one in which there are all three elements: presence, companionship, and facing the world together.
On the other hand, if there is a first problem – a job loss, temporary financial hole or secondary health problems, and it suddenly turns out that “it is not between us anymore”, someone does not include you in their plans, treats you as a dusty figurine that he does not throw away out of sentiment or you don’t have time to listen to your day without scrolling through your face, you’re not really in a relationship. SharekAlomre You only have a roommate whose private parts have been seen more than once.
Let’s be honest – in the age of porn ubiquity, this is not particularly special.
2. In a good relationship you understand each other on a deep level
You probably think I’m about to talk about the unity of souls, the orange halves. (Is there apples. One dog). Or, to mention perfect harmony expressed in the absence of quarrels. If so, you are wrong. I don’t believe in relationships that are filled with cotton candy alone. Everyone slams the door. I do believe that you should be with someone who understands what you are saying. Not in a grammatical sense, but also in an emotional sense.
This is the kind of situation where when you tell her: “Your friend is pretty,” she hears: “My friend is pretty”, instead of: “Oh no! He said that I was uglier than her, that he wanted to leave me and have a bunch of children with her! What a prick! ”.
This is also the case when you say the name Visconti and the other person knows if you are thinking of the prince, the shoes or the director.
There are also hundreds of situations in which the other person not only understands what you are saying, but also knows how you feel worrying about selling your company, experiencing the excitement of public speaking or enjoying when you tell her that you always wanted a relationship that would be so unforced .
Anyway, you don’t have to agree with these examples, because… they are examples. You can compose your own, but this sense of understanding is the litmus test of the relationship. It allows you to assess whether you happen to be going in different directions and whether you are not on completely different levels of experience, mentality, knowledge. If that’s the case, it’s hard to jump over it. That’s why businessmen in their forties can meet female students, but these are almost never lasting relationships. Sex is sex, but what to talk about when her biggest problem is a failed test and he is worried if his limb will catch fire?
Not everything is fixable. When you are young you try to do it even when you see that it doesn’t make much sense. With age comes the realization that it is almost never worth fighting, because when you try to paint metal with wood paint, it will not help you much if you scrub harder with a brush. It’s a question of compatibility, and whether your messages reach the other person without noise is their best test.
3. A good relationship is a highway, not a one-way street
Social, legal or financial equality is such a unicorn. Everyone would like to see it, but no one has seen it yet. There is also no equality in relationships. Always one party says and thinks “I love” more often.
You only see – sometimes the difference is that you hug someone more, and sometimes it’s just you who bear the whole relationship.
You’re the one who gets involved.
It is you who sacrifice your plans.
There is a proverb that if you want to go fast then go alone, but if you want to go far you better go with someone. It is worth adding that this does not work when you have to carry the other person on your back. True, a relationship is about love, inspiration, and security, but it has to go in two directions.
4. A good relationship is fun
“Why are you together ??
There may be many answers to this question. They start with “because I am already at the age that I have to”. Later they go through love to having shared plans. However, I believe that if the answer “for fun” does not appear among them, then they are missing a key element.
Relationships take up a huge amount of our time. Statistically the greatest after sleep and work. Inevitably, they also have a significant impact on how we feel. And I don’t know about you, but I want things to be more exciting in my life than going to the supermarket, picking the best canned corn, or going to my grandmother’s granddaughter’s wedding, where a drunk uncle will dance to “You’re crazy.” I am also counting on spontaneous trips, on racing who will eat the XXL burger first, on the fact that I will be waiting for what the other person will surprise me and that when I propose: “Let’s do something crazy!” I will hear a hot “YES!”, not just a grunt signifying “I’d rather get some sleep.”
The older one gets, the more excel sheets there are in it. However, if I know something about relationships, it is that not only is there no place for such sheets, but there should also be no place.
5. A good relationship is based on choice
Sometimes I get messages in which someone (usually a guy, but let’s not generalize) asks: “I’m in a relationship, but I’m drawn to other women. What to do?”.
I always write the same thing: “If you stick to your diet and keep fit, you are drawn to fries, burgers and crisps too, right? Then why don’t you choose them? “
The answer is roughly the same:
“Because health is more important to me.”
This is also how a good relationship should be. Mature relationships come from the awareness that by chance people get to know each other (unless someone is a certified stalker, but I do not recommend it), but you decide to be with someone. He looks at the other person and thinks, “I choose you and I want to be with you. Other people may have qualities that you lack, but you still win against them overall. “
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6. Being in a good relationship is better than being alone
After all, your mission in life is not to worsen the quality of your life. This should also apply to the relationship. Do you feel better in it than being single? Are you more anxious to get out of bed and get home from work sooner? Is it a world at least a little better, more interesting, deeper than when you are alone?
Because if it doesn’t add a few happiness points to your life, and even when it takes those points away from you, what’s the point?
And I’m not talking about the fact that relationships should only be for good. Life is like Bollywood – sometimes it is sun, sometimes it is rain. What I’m saying is that if you are healthy and have a full refrigerator, and you still have a hard time in your relationship, is it even worth being in it?