As time goes on and people get older, the issue of companionship comes more and more to the minds of both the person himself and his social environment. This fact comes both from the natural evolution of life which predicts the mating of people to create offspring, the need of the individual to communicate, share and be loved as well as the avoidance of loneliness. The lack of a Relationship partner is especially felt when peers begin to create their own families reflecting in the individual his own failure in the pursuit of love. At the same time, relatives are wondering what is going on and this person is not in a relationship.
It is not a few times that the phone of our Institute rings and on the other end of the line there is a parent who is anxious to find out if it is normal that his child (30-35 years old) has never had a relationship. Also, many come to the office asking to get involved in a relationship. Their burning question is “why can’t I find a partner?” and the answer to this of course is not something that can be given immediately by the expert, nor is the question so simple. So what is it that makes people lonely?
When one has not been able to create and develop a significant romantic relationship in one’s life, the first question that arises is whether one has the desire for companionship. Is there a real desire for a partner or are there other factors that demonstrate this dimension of his life as a weakness? Since engaging in a romantic relationship concerns the inner needs and motivations of the individual himself, then the next thing we have to think about are the factors that have prevented him so far from fulfilling his desires.
The first stage of this investigation concerns whether the person is psychologically ready to enter into a relationship. In this day and age, it is well known that many young people are trapped in financial dependence on their parents, without being given the opportunity to take matters into their own hands, to take on the responsibilities they have as adults and to mature. On the other hand, we see that social media has cultivated the self-admiration of the individual to a degree that reaches the limits of narcissism. Therefore, emotional immaturity and self-worship leave no room for a possible “us” to develop. The conditions that the potential partner must meet are specific and those who deviate from them are automatically rejected as “incompatible” and at the first difficulty the effort stops.
The second stage involves assertiveness and behaviour. This behaviour is influenced by many factors such as previous rejection experiences in trying to flirt, stereotypes about “who should make the first move”, low self-esteem, general negative thoughts about his ability to acquire companionship, traumatic experiences of abandonment in his childhood. In addition, sexual dysfunction in the individual plays an important part in the lack of assertive behavior. The psychological problems that arise act as inhibitory factors in the search for a partner, with the fear of rejection and the anxiety of inadequacy prevailing. flirtwith
For these reasons, many people, although they verbally express their need for emotional attachment and contact with another person, they do nothing to acquire it. They live at home in front of their TV and computer, they do not socialise with others outside their immediate environment, they do not expand their social circle, they do not make acquaintances. A natural consequence of this is that the chances of finding a partner are dramatically reduced. Essentially and more simply
they learn to live alone and are comfortable in their loneliness that they seem to like … A natural consequence of this is that the chances of finding a partner are dramatically reduced. Essentially and more simply they learn to live alone and are comfortable in their loneliness that they seem to like … A natural consequence of this is that the chances of finding a partner are dramatically reduced. Essentially and more simply they learn to live alone and are comfortable in their loneliness that they seem to like …
The third stage has to do with how the person approaches the potential partners and what he wants to gain from them. When the deepest desire is to enter into a relationship, one must ask oneself whether the way one approaches the potential partner is appropriate. The insecurity and anxiety to secure the condition of the relationship as a given drown the other and react spasmodically causing discomfort and fear, with the result that the other eventually leaves finding various excuses! And yet, this relationship would probably have continued if it were not for the tension and the need for confirmation “now that I have found you, you must guarantee me your presence and that you will not do it!”. Essentially, this is how the acquaintance sentenced to death begins, because impatience and haste kill it. This, unfortunately, works repeatedly, flirtwith.com
This vicious circle leaves no room for a new relationship to develop where one will live through the other, its filling and its duration, as long as it goes, without entering limits and conditions that ultimately destroy it.
At the same time, sex is a dominant part of the relationship of two people whose attraction knows them and their imagination travels, while emotion has not yet opened its door. So, sex is the first part of a new situation between two people, for whom the continuation of the project gives new roles that will now dominate the course or the end of this adventure. Many believe that sex is needed more by the man who demands it and takes it for granted in the new acquaintance,
while the woman feels more vulnerable and obliged to keep him to give it to “the candidate” tomorrow’s partner. Of course, this can also have the opposite effect, since today women get involved in sex more easily and faster, and in fact she feels that the man is timid or avoids sexual intercourse making the relationship seem more friendly than erotic. After all, the relationship between the two sexes has changed so much that all the scenarios play out and often end up awkwardly in front of the “big lover”, who is called a computer.